It is a common expression to raise daughters like sons, but how often do you hear parents proudly stating that they would raise their sons like daughters?
Gendered behavioural patterns, like ‘boys don’t cry’, or ‘girls are meant to be weak and sensitive’ stem from patriarchy. These distorted notions of weakness have been hurting not just our women, but our men as well.
Owing to this conditioning, a friend once pointed out–“If we all are fighting for equality, then why should it be an exclusive idea only for women? Why can’t men also fight against patriarchy alongside women? Their issues should also be our issues.”
Alas! His thoughts are not in isolation.
India might have been a different place for women, if not for Raja Ram Mohan Roy.
Considered to be one of the first male feminists in the country, his relentless efforts to debunk myths and objectionable traditions, all to uplift oppressed women, continue to find meaning today.
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A social reformer who fearlessly and tirelessly crusaded for women’s rights in the 19th century, he helped abolish evils like Sati, child marriage, and polygamy.
One of his prominent feats was the setting up of the Brahmo Samaj in 1828, as a movement to discard meaningless rituals and customs that promoted unfair treatment of any particular section of individuals, especially women. Under the movement’s banner, he even broke the shackles of the caste system and advocated for women’s education and property rights.
Like him, the following Indian men have reiterated women’s issues.
Established in 1993, Harish’s organisation is one among the first few that focused on preventing violence against women in India.
Reversing the concept of gender bias, his organisation, MAVA, an acronym for Men Against Violence and Abuse, has been empowering men to prevent violence or abuse perpetrated against girls and women.
He aims to shape up a men’s movement involving the youth, to take the responsibility of protecting and changing the gender-biased outlook, discard any sense of superiority, objectification on the men’s part, while also tackling social conditioning that has been breeding the divide between men and women.
It began in 1998, when Arunachalam came face to face with the dark reality of menstruation faced by Indian women, especially in rural areas. He realised that his wife, much like many others around and before her, was using old rags–a highly unhygienic and dangerous practice.
Motivated to ensure her safety during her menstrual cycles, he invented a low-cost sanitary pad-making machine, which went on to impact thousands of women across the country and spread awareness about the adverse consequences of traditional unhygienic practices on a grassroots level.
His journey, however, was full of scorn and social ostracisation, as he dared to speak openly about an ‘only-women’ taboo. From being boycotted by village folk to being rejected by family, Arunachalam continued his quest to create the perfect sanitary pad.
Neha Singh and Devina Kapoor began women-specific events in public spaces in 2013. They were inspired by the book Why Loiter by Shilpa Phadke, Sameera Khan and Shilpa Ranade.
Intrigued by the concept, Sachit Puranik wanted to join but was reminded of the exclusivity of the events. His solution: What if I dress like a woman?
